Of course I was forewarned that there would be setbacks. Everybody makes a special point of telling you that, and yet I wasn’t prepared for it at all.
Maybe it’s the foggy weather. Or I might be coming down with something.
What I had expected was an unexplainable weight gain. Or some serious motivation issues. Wanting to slack off. That’s not it at all.
Instead, everything is hard today. It’s not that I’m especially tired or demotivated, it’s just that every move of a muscle needs just that extra bit of effort, just a little more exertion, just a little more sweat. It’s also just a little bit easier to get agitated.
The right way to deal with it is indeed to accept the limits, to still go for a walk choosing a gentler route, to not get carried away by ambition, yet still keep at it. I must not ignore the difficulties, but accept them, and concentrate on the small pleasures.
A week after I arrived in Alland we’ve settled into a routine of some sort. We get up for breakfast at 7.30 unless we have checks before that. Then therapy, lectures, lunch, more therapy, a walk, supper. After that, we mostly hang out in one of the common rooms and chat or play games.
Most of us have already lost several kilos. All is well.
Of course, there are setbacks. Nearly everyone has already had days where they’ve actually gained weight. Sometimes it’s really hard to make do with 1100 calories. Sometimes I just want to get away from it all and just lock myself in my room and be on my own. That’s part of it.
Luckily, the other patients know exactly how you feel in that situation. You wouldn’t believe how liberating it is that for once I’m not The Fat Guy, but simply a member of a group of peers.
Mind you, I have no reason to complain about my friends or colleagues. I’m used to asking and getting special considerations if I need it. And yet, here I don’t have to ask, because we’re all (roughly) in the same boat. Makes for a nice change.
I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to post daily updates. Soon I’ll be running out of topics. Many thanks to everyone who has read these pages and given me support.
Goodness, I’m tired. (Oh my Gosh! I’ll be darned to heck!)
I don’t know why, but I found it incredibly hard to stay awake today â€“ and during one of the lectures I failed miserably. Awkward. It’s not that I didn’t get enough sleep last night, although the day started *way* too early for my. I don’t think blood taken at 6.30 is any better than 8.30 blood, but for some reason they keep insisting on that absurd time.
Maybe I overdid things a little yesterday.